Mental health is a deeply personal, and sometimes complex, topic. While conversations about it can be profoundly healing, many people find it difficult to open up to loved ones or to support someone who’s struggling. At the Toronto Psychology & Wellness Group (TPWG), our clinicians are regularly asked, “How can I talk to my family or friends about mental health in a helpful and meaningful way?”
In response, our clinical team offers this professional guidance, backed by experience, compassion, and clinical insight, on how to initiate and sustain mental health conversations with the people you care about most. We also provide resources and therapy services that can support caregivers and families on this journey.
Why These Conversations Matter
Mental health affects every part of our lives, our relationships, work, physical health, and overall functioning. Just like physical health, it exists on a continuum.
“Just like physical health, mental health is a critical part of our overall wellbeing. At any given time, we all fall on a point in the spectrum of wellness. Some days we are doing well, and some days not so much. If we’ve consistently had days where we are not doing well, then the support of a mental health professional can bring us back to our optimal functioning.”
Understanding that mental health is fluid, sometimes we thrive, other times we struggle, can help reduce stigma and normalize these important conversations. It also allows space for mutual support and growth.
Tips for Dialoguing with Loved Ones About Mental Health
Our team offers the following guidance, drawn from clinical expertise and personal experience:
1. Choose the Right Time and Setting
Conversations about mental health should ideally happen when everyone is calm and able to engage thoughtfully.
“Create a time to do it. Do it when everyone is calm. Have an agenda in your mind.”
You don’t need to wait for a crisis. Plan ahead. Approach the topic gently and with intention. You might begin with a positive, growth-oriented phrase like, “Wouldn’t it be great to feel better?”
2. Normalize the Topic
Reduce stigma by treating mental health like any other important aspect of wellness.
“Start normalizing mental health in ways that feel meaningful and important to you. The conversations can start small.”
Whether it’s a quick check-in or a deeper talk, regular conversations help normalize the experience of mental health challenges and make space for early support and intervention.
“Mental health has a serious impact on a person’s wellbeing, while at the same time being treatable and fluid throughout one’s life and experiences. Everyone has the chance to move and grow along the continuum, especially with support and treatment.”
3. Use Non-Judgmental, Compassionate Language
Words matter. When discussing mental health, especially during emotionally sensitive moments, se “I feel” statements and keep the tone open and curious.
“Use ‘I feel’ statements and other non-judgmental language. Don’t pressure others to access support but let them know what you have been noticing and that you are here to offer further help or support.”
Another clinician adds:
“I prioritize initiating conversations from a place of genuine curiosity, using phrases such as ‘I wonder if…’ or ‘I’m interested to hear your thoughts on that.’”
These techniques invite dialogue without demanding disclosure.
4. Be Clear About Your Needs and Boundaries
When opening up, it’s helpful to state what kind of support you’re looking for.
“Please feel empowered to let your loved ones know what type of support you’re looking for whether it be validation, advice, distraction, or just a listening ear!”
Similarly, if you’re the support person, try to clarify your role and limitations:
“Ask more questions than making statements or directives. Suggest getting help from a professional, if possible, as the weight of attempting to treat a loved one can be overwhelming and impossible without proper training.”
5. Be Honest About the Challenge
It’s okay to acknowledge that these conversations aren’t always easy.
“Talking about mental health with the people we care about can be really tough, and it’s okay to acknowledge that.”
You can start by saying something like: “This is a hard conversation for me to have, but I’m opening up because I trust you.” Framing it this way sets the stage for openness and mutual respect.
6. Expect, and Accept, Mixed Reactions
Some people may not respond the way you hope at first. They may feel uncertain, overwhelmed, or say something unintentionally unhelpful.
“Stigma makes it so we might not have much experience talking about mental health or we have internalized myths about it. This means that when we open up to others sometimes, they do not always know what to say or say the ‘wrong’ thing, it does not always mean they do not want to support you.”
Be patient. Give your loved one’s time to process what you’ve shared. Many people become more supportive as they learn and grow.
7. Start Small and Go at Your Own Pace
You don’t have to say everything all at once. Take your time.
“Take the conversation at a pace that you feel comfortable with. You don’t have to share everything all at once if you’re not ready to fully open up.”
Small, meaningful check-ins build trust and safety over time.
8. Seek Professional Support
Remember: you don’t have to do this alone. A therapist can help guide these conversations and offer neutral, professional insight, especially when dynamics are complex or when you’re unsure how to move forward.
“Therapists are here to support you with these discussions. Family members can be invited into session to learn more about their loved one and how to best support them.”
Caregiver Services at TPWG
If you’re supporting a loved one with mental health challenges, TPWG offers specialized services designed with you in mind:
- Parent Therapy: Learn how to best support your child or teen while also attending to your own emotional needs.
- Caregiver Support DBT Skills Group: Join others who are caring for loved ones experiencing emotion dysregulation or high-risk behaviours. This group provides effective skills for support and boundaries.
- Eating Disorder Caregiver Workshops: Gain tools to support recovery, navigate difficult conversations, and build a healthier home environment.
- Family and Couple Support: Engage in guided conversations that promote deeper understanding, repair, and connection.
Final Thoughts: Be Real, Be Open, Be Kind
As one clinician put it:
“Be open, authentic, and supportive. Gently address those taboo topics, many people find it refreshing when someone directly acknowledges a sensitive issue, rather than dancing around it.”
Approach mental health conversations with curiosity, clarity, and compassion. Whether you’re reaching out for help or offering it, you’re making space for healing and that’s one of the most powerful acts of care there is.
Need Support Starting the Conversation?
Our team is here to help. Visit tpwg.ca to explore our services and book an appointment with a clinician who can support you or your family in taking the next step.